Recently, some of you may have heard the word chop thrown about at school. For those of you who fear the sun and live under a rock, chop is a word that people use when referring to their crush, or “courtship”. See, there isn’t even a way to explain it without sounding dumb. Anyways, after some deliberate consideration, I’ve decided that the word ‘chop’ is possibly the dumbest thing ever.
Except for Snooki.

Now some of you may be asking “Yancheng, why are you being so whiny? Are you growing old? Is this your way of yelling at kids and their new-fangled slang?” Of course not. Luckily for my adoring fans everywhere, I am young and hip as always.

Hip.

But compare the word ‘chop’ to some of the other slang that we use. Like ‘tap’. Unlike chop it’s a much more classy and makes-sense word than chop is and ever will be.

Classy.

 

Don’t believe me? Chill. (I’ll get to this in another post).
Assume your name is Patrick Q. Star and you don’t know what chop or tap means. You’re walking down the street with your friend and you come upon a highly attractive female specimen.  Your friend looks you in the eye and makes a slow, thrusting gesture with his pelvis.

“OHOHOHOHOH, ID TAP DAT”.

Now, let’s pause for a minute. What are you thinking?  “Oh my friend is a douchebag”. Yeup.  And?

“I bet he means that he wants to engage in sexual intercourse with said female, thereby creating a tapping motion!” It all makes sense!

But now, let’s try it with ‘Chop’.

“OHOHOHOHOHOH ID CHOP HER”.

What are you thinking?

“My friend is a serial killer…shit.”

“WHO WANTS TO MEET MY CHOP!”

 

Not very clear is it? So why would people ever want to use ‘chop’? Well after much careful analysis, I think I’ve finally figured it out

Saying Chop Makes You Feel like a Ninja. 

At least it does for me.