Falling, falling, falling

It’s a dark pit

And yet, 

My eyes can see the way of the path 

The very same eyes that have trouble adjusting to the dark. 

 

It’s not like I wanted this

It’s not like I wanted myself to suffer.

I want to believe it’s for the greater good 

But I just can’t wrap my head around how this is good.

 

So it’s during this path that I doubt my decisions

I doubt myself

What if I deserve this?

It’s always the what ifs. 

 

To be honest, sometimes I hate even trying

I don’t even know how my own voice sounds anymore.

Probably because the negativity is drowning out my voice. 

It’s like I’m empty.

It’s like the darkness consumed everything.

Everything, except the sound of my footsteps. 

 

It’s only 

The smallest fragments of hope, willing me to continue onwards. 

Maybe it’s the faint smell of lavender nearing what seems to be the end

Maybe it’s the fact that each step means progress on my end

Or maybe, it’s just my sheer will to see the light. 

 

But for some reason, be it my will or not; I find myself trying. 

I don’t know when it’ll be over

And I don’t know what comes after this. 

But for now, I’ll just continue to mindlessly walk 

And walk

Until it’s over. 


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