Yancheng Lu

Chopz

Recently, some of you may have heard the word chop thrown about at school. For those of you who fear the sun and live under a rock, chop is a word that people use when referring to their crush, or “courtship”. See, there isn’t even a way to explain it without sounding dumb. Anyways, after some deliberate consideration, I’ve decided that the word ‘chop’ is possibly the dumbest thing ever. Except for Snooki. Now some of you may be asking “Yancheng, why are you being so whiny? Are you growing old? Is this your way of yelling at kids and their...

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Respect This

Respect. That pointless drivel they pound into your head every single day. At the start of a new year, every year, there is a school-welcoming assembly. It’s an assembly to teach the new ninth graders the expectations and rules of the school and to give the older grades a “refresher”. That part’s all well and fine by me, but there was always one part that always irked me: that part where they make you pledge respect to every goddamned thing under the school roof. Respect your peers. Respect the school. Respect your teachers. Respect their belongings. Respect the grass....

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